Well & A rifle

He was everything he must be, every eid he would visit, a very realistic and dignified figure, he would sit with us and tell us his stories and I would laugh, that doesn’t make sense! but he knew I was just a child, if I only go back in time to hear all of his stories and I would swear to him I will never laugh again, if I only could. He was a picture of light, I have never thought he could have a difficult time, he’s strong willed, left life with glory, resisting in that dark summer day. The one story I remember vividly, when I was seven years old, he told me how he defeated the jinni, he was alone in the woods holding his rifle beside a well where he saw a jinni and a after a bad conversation with him he kept repeating to me how he captured and reprehend him, in that moment I told my self: grandfather, you have such a strong heart. I wish I could have said that out loud, and I wish it remains a memory or a thin strand of hope. His story, was similar to Faust but the last was lacking energy and enthusiasm comparing to my grandfather’s version, its a story when you can realize that the devil is not a fictional character in ancient books but its closer to us than veins, colors we see and perceptions we hold. Now I knew, I could never be a Faustian even metaphorically. my great grandfather; I will remember you at the meeting of the mountains, in the sun and moon cycles, in the sacred water, the delicate church’s bread and the verses of poems. I would see you as as you are, a universal soul, a doctrine of faith and morals, a humble teacher surrounded with trees of fruits, a mortal who fight the devil to his very last breaths.

July: Notes from the past

Monday, tenth of July, It’s difficult to find the right words to describe Killing Joke’s history or musical impressions. I’ve always been fascinated about Jaz Coleman’s reflections on different subjects. For those who didn’t know him, he’s the leading singer and lyricist of this ancient post-punk band. Jaz Coleman is also a theologian, author of the book Letter From Cythera and a great orchestral composer. The band embrace mysticism from the beginning, many opinions on politics, global and environmental issues. I just heard this great interview from June’s last year on BBC radio and I loved to share it with you. https://www.acast.com/someonewhoisntme/episode8-jazcoleman
Wednesday, July 12th a talk I said on isolation and introversion: I totally agree and this reminds me of what schopenhauer said, ” almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people”. And you can imagine the diverse problems that it may create, I can tell you that I found an endless solace in isolation and I literally have zero friends but my family. My life is much better alone although, I can’t spend a day not reading or hearing or at least caring about the global issues that we create every day! Solitude is a bless and not anyone knows what it truly means to be alone, to have a space to write, to create, to reflect and most importantly to experience your life as a human. In another hand, I must say I have an ultimate pleasure in discovering pure souls and original minds, from painters, photographers to philosophers and scientists, history is full of such inspiring people. So, I don’t expect to find such people in my daily life but pain is worth it and it’s enough for me to find one in my whole life. And here’s the beauty of life in rarity and diversity and we must be adaptable and acceptable to others differences. I hope I made my point clear without any mistakes in English! Have a lovely day. Friday, July 14th I wrote some notes and memories from the past: I’m totally not a Law person, I love science a lot and I understand it completely and I get shocked when I studied Saudi’s law at first time. It was very rigid and full of lies. When I was reading the book, I posed on something that is considerable to human rights, the freedom of expression and existence of different religions for its citizens, I laughed sarcastically in myself saying: oh, really! What a lie! In addition it was a small paragraph less than half the paper from the whole book. Unfortunately I don’t remember the script exactly because I gave the book for one of my colleagues. This was in 2014, later when things happened and I went out of home to live in my own without a permission from any one in 2016. I get shocked again when they catch me by the police officer telling me: there’s institutes for human rights by the way!