Sketching #2

Lilies

Spent the night in Paris
Where we visit Place de Mahmoud Darwish
and Sacré-Cœur
I pictured the joy in your heart
And save it for eternity in
Water lilies & mirror lakes
Crab color sky and
cherry ice cream with children
Reminds you of a stolen time.

Lantern

It was the day you remembered
Fragments of my heart has stolen
It was the day you died
in front of me hundreds of times
Lavish man with
a soft beard & lantern
It was the day, but it’s not yet
It’s not the day
To call me
A lover
A sweetheart
Purge myself from the past
Trying the hardest while I can

1/8 is the day

I wanted to write about the moment when stopped crying every day, the moment I was free, the moment when the government decided to let us breath a bit, we as women. In 1/8/2019 the government made few adjustments on traveling documents and they state that everyone above 21 can issue a passport without agreement of his/her guardian angel. The day makes a huge impact on Saudi women’s life and many of them will still consider this day as the fall of guardianship law. Now, since I’m legally free I start sleeping better and nothing will stop me from accomplishing my dreams.

Mama, my heart only escaped

Sad to bring this upon you
You, my loved one
You, my sunshine
when I needed the light
You’re the water nature of myself
You’re the earth
when I needed to feel comfort

Mama, Hated the country
But never the home
I wanted freedom but
Never to escape

I’m stayin’ I’m leavin’
I’ll be here until
I found myself that once lost
Mama, my heart only escaped

White blues

Here it’s, a three years anniversary
Woke up this morning
with sunflower in my mouth
In a place where I don’t want to be in
Here it’s three years in November
Struggling with family
Struggling with medicines, with purple life

I remember when I was hospitalized
In a mental institute, for the first time
I stayed for three months
I don’t know if this number
should mean something
but I was even sleeping in room number three
Seems so far away now
But the feeling is the same, never changed

I know I’m not sick; I told myself
and I can’t leave my dream to escape behind me
Bi-polar starts getting closer to my skin
Closer than it should be
Everyday I became the medication or
It became me
Sweet baby tablet of Abilify,
How it affects someone’s body
Someone’s brain
Does it numb your pain too?

White blues
I got all the time to do the things
That never did before
I got a life I never wanted to lose it
So let’s make some memories
Milk & water, white beds
Pancakes on breakfast and tears in the morning
Clean halls and nurses
surrounds you in every occasion
Walking in empty circles all day long
Getting used on the weird talk
The weird stares
Become one of them
By time you’ll stop worrying about the life outside
the hospital became all your life
where you become caught in every detail

Nothing much I missed but the warm summer sun
Celebrating my birthday and
Wearing my favorite clothes
Three years now I still remember vividly The smell of illness and the noise

Twenty six blossoms

1. Published 5 written pieces
2. Learned music basics
3. Reading music sheets
4. Listened to +10000 song
5. Knew +1000 musicians
6. Traveled to Jeddah
7. Celebrate my birthday at Angelina Café
8. Read a lot about astrology
9. My favorite planet is Jupiter
10. Sent my name & my mom’s to Mars with NASA’s next rover in July, 2020
11. Reached +500 tweets
12. Meditate by the sea
13. Richard Dawkins started a campaign against Islam and I’m in
14. Been followed by an amazing writer
15. A beautiful soul kissed me in my cheek once in a dream
16. Genius is fragility, in memory of Ian Curtis
17. Lana Del Rey is Cancer 4:47 pm
18. Bought a running shoe from Skechers
19. Wrote a published piece in memory of my grandfather
20. I’m beautiful and grateful for everything I have
21. Time to change, to work alone, time to live
22. My hair is a mermaid like 🧜🏻‍♀️
23. Planned my next half-life in Italy 🇮🇹
24. Bought a rose milk swimwear with sun hat
25. Goin to travel to Khobar
26. Goin to love my life